Where the Noodles Are Translated

Hail the King Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Don’t ever do that

Angela screamed. As the flames grew in Gill’s hand, she frantically looked for ways to stop him. However, it was all useless.

“S--t!” Fei couldn’t do anything else but to try to block it with the helmet he was holding in his hand.

Boom! The fireball collided with the helmet, producing a burst of sparks and smoke. The helmet had turned red hot and splattered as it started to melt.

“Ssii………………” Fei smelled burned flesh.

He rushed as he tried to get the melting metal helmet off of his hand. Although he acted as fast as he could, the layer of skin on his inner palm had burned off already.

The fireball appeared to have run out of energy, fizzing and finally became extinguished.

Fei didn’t have time to relax as he immediately saw another fireball forming upon Gill’s hand.

Judging from Gill’s sweaty face, it was obvious that he was concentrating extremely hard to finish Fei off with this one.

This time, Fei had nothing to block it with.

“This is not fair!” Fei yelled “I challenge you to a wrestling match! Didn’t your parents teach you that kids playing with fire will pee their pants!?”

“What??” Angela and Emma were shocked speechless. “Since was there such as saying?”

“Looks like Alexander is still an idiot.” Both of them thought disappointedly.

However, what they didn’t notice was that Fei had slowly moved to the other side of the bed and managed to pick up the cuirass that he wore on the walls. He hid it behind his back as he slowly inched his way back towards Gill.

“Just wait! Once you get in my reach, I will teach you a lesson in place of your parents!” Fei calculated the distance between them and was preparing to use some sneaky and dirty tactics to deal with Gill.

But —

“Pee your own m-----------g pants!”

Gill was furious, he was not going to hold back his wrath of a “Prestigious mage”. He made up his mind to punish the “r----d king” for what he did.


The second fireball was flung towards Fei.

Angela reacted fast. Although she so scared that her face paled, she made up her mind to save Fei by blocking the fireball with her body.

Seeing Angela suddenly appear in front of Fei, Gill went into shock and tried to retrieve his fireball. However, it was already too late.

Fei reacted immediately, “S--t!”. Without thinking, Fei grabbed Angela’s shoulder and pressed her against his chest as he turned his body around. He felt the heat scorch across his back.

“S--t! I’m gonna die!!”

At very moment,

“Pu– !”

A big hand appeared out of nowhere and grabbed the fireball. It gave it a light squeeze, completely indifferent to the extreme heat radiating off of it. Fei watched with wide eyes as the fireball that could melt a metal helmet collapsed like an ice cream in a hot summer day.

Hope was restored to Fei as he let go of Angela.

“A master!” He thought.

At the same time, the Gill’s face froze. He stared at the man who appeared in the palace, his face turning paler than flour and his body starting to shake uncontrollably.

Like a mouse that saw a cat, Gill was so scared that his voice turned into a completely different tone: “ Mr. Lam–lam–lampard, Why–y–y are you here? I–I–I–”

Gill started sweating like crazy as he tried to explain himself.

This “Mr. Lampard” didn’t even look at Gill. He turned around and slightly bowed to Angela respectfully, and then looked at Fei coldly and said “Alexander, you majesty.”

Fei took a detailed look at this “Master”

In front of him stood a handsome, 6 foot 5 Caucasian man. With hair so red and vivid, it looked like a mane of burning fire.

What stood out the most was the huge 5 foot long sword he was carrying on his back. It was as black as coal and looked to weigh about 200 pounds.

The thing that confused Fei was that although this “master” was strong, his face was a bit pale. Fei guessed that he may have been injured in the siege.

Fei also felt strange. Lampard saved him, but he wasn’t very friendly towards him. Fei sensed a little bit of sad and hopelessness in his stares. Fei didn’t know who he really was so he just noded in response.

“Mr. Lam–Lampard, can I go now?” Gill was extremely scared

Lampard didn’t even look at him: “Go? Aren’t you going to explain your offensive behaviour towards the king?”

“Ah, Explain? Well…you know… I was only joking. Yeah! joking! You know I had grown up with him, right? I just didn’t control my magic properly. I’m only a novice mage, not even a star rank..”

Gill quickly found an excuse.

He was BSing so fluently that he almost believed in what he was saying.

As he was spewing out excuses, he saw sensed a cold stare as sharp as a blade on his neck from Lampard. He knew that this man could kill him as easily as an ant. He was scared to continue to say anything so he shut himself up and sheepishly smiled.

Lampard had a disgusted look on his face.

He closed his hand and everyone in the palace felt an invisible pressure.

But Lampard’s face showed that he had thought of something. He hesitated a bit; then opened his palm again and the pressure was gone. “Get out of here! There’s no next time!” Lampard said as if he was shooing away a fly.

“Ok ok ok..” Gill was relieved like a prisoner who received death penalty just got a pardon. He exhaled rapidly and bowed down to the tall man carrying the sword.


As Gill was preparing to leave this place, Fei suddenly stopped him.

Gill looked at Lampard, but the old man didn’t say a word. He had to stop and listen to what Fei had say.

Fei gave his widest smile as he got closer and closer to Gill.

He casually put his hand onto Gill’s shoulder. Everyone thought the king was going to say something to comfort Gill because of his friendliness.


He didn’t say anything and started to slap Gill on the face like crazy. “Don’t ever do that again! Don’t ever f-----g do that again!” He kept on yelling as he was slapping.

“Pia – Pia – Pia – Pia —”

The sound of the slaps almost formed a symphony.

Fei’s action send Angela and Emma into a shock once more. The “cold” faced Lampard was surprised by this as well.

“Is this brutal and crazy man the king? Is this really the idiot king Alexander?

Poor Gill didn’t know what to do. The appearance of Lampard had scared him into not using his abilities, and now he’s afraid to even defend himself against Fei’s assault.

Gill regretted what he did as Fei gets his revenge. “If I knew Alexander became this shameless after being shot by an arrow, I’d never have come here !” He cried in his mind.

Fei finally stopped as his hand became numb.

Gill thought his nightmare was over as he stopped sniveling like a bitch.

Who knew that Fei rubbed his hands and kicked Gill right in the nether regions? He screamed in pain. His body quickly reacted by mimicking a fried shrimp. He bent his back and started to desperately crawl out of the palace as if he was escaping hell.

He had finally learnt his lesson and didn’t want to ever see this insane king ever again.

“You got lucky this time!” Fei yelled at Gill.

He was a simple man. He was not going to taking any sort of humiliation and act like nothing happen. He wanted revenge on the spot.

After releasing his anger on GIll, he felt much better.

As Fei turned around, He saw the shocked expressions on Angela, Emma and Lampard’s face. They were staring at him as if he was some unknown monster.

“S--t! Did I over react?’ Fei thought.

“Oh! My head is dizzy, I’m fainting!” He fell onto the floor.

Angela and Emma who still have the hand mark on her face got nervous, they thought the arrow injury was reoccurring again. They dragged him to the bed.

Lampard looked at Fei. He was suspicious of Fei’s terrible acting but he didn’t say anything. He asked Angela about Fei’s arrow injury, comforted both Angela and Emma a little and left with a ton of questions on his mind.

“My Majesty, the enemies are still sieging, looks like your soldiers can’t defend any longer.” This is the last thing Lampard said before he left

Angela and Emma stood by him for a while. After seeing no sign of Fei waking up, Angela took Emma to the priest to get her face treated.

After only Fei was left in the palace, he calmed down and started to think about the whole situation.

Obviously he was in another universe.

Not only Angela and Emma, but that meatball-shaped magician’s magic and that mysterious old master’s powerful skills had proven it.

Fei was a poor graduate student. He grew up in an orphanage. He was in a hopeless situation because he had incurred a lot of debt for university but couldn’t find a job to pay it off. After thinking about it, Fei concluded that becoming the king in another universe was not a bad thing.

“As a king, I probably can do anything I want!” He thought. He couldn’t wait to use his powers.

He started to map his situation.

“Looks like on my way back to my apartment, I was hit by a bright disk of some sort. I’m probably died on the spot, but somehow my soul came to this universe and possessed the body of this Alexander.”

From what has happened, Fei pieced together that this young king only had the intelligence of a 3 year old.  He didn’t know what had happened to the last king, but the throne was taken by this Alexander. Obviously, all the ministers were opposed to this young king.

Fei remembered getting shot by an arrow and then waking up in this bed.

“Probably by the time on the wall, my soul had just gained possession of this body. I’m not sure where the ‘original’ Alexander went, but I’m the new Alexander now!”

The original Alexander the king was really an idiot.

Fei possessed his body and for sure took over his memories as well. All he got was the basic information such as the language spoken in this kingdom and some simple hobbies that the previous tenant of this body had. Other than that, Fei had no idea how big this kingdom was and how everything else worked. He only knew Angela, his fiancé after he woke up in this world for the first time and he had no recollection of Gill and Lampard.

“Thank God this guy was dumb, from now on when I mimic him, no one can tell I’m someone different.” Fei touched his chin and nodded.

But suddenly, he remembered something else. “Before Lampard left, he mentioned something about enemies sieging the castle and that the soldiers can’t defend any longer!”

“Damn it!”

Fei almost jumped out of the bed. “Am I going to be a slave right after I became the king?”

The pressure of survival and reality scared Fei

“Maybe I should pack up and sneak out of here? S--t! How can I sneak out when the enemies have already surrounded the castle. Can “master” Lampard kill them? Wait, he is just one man, how can he face off an army? Plus, the enemies probably have “masters” too!”

Fei had no idea how he was going to get out of this situation.

When he was on earth, he was just a student. He had no talent in military nor in fighting. The best he could do was to handle a drunk dude at the bar. If you want him to lead an army, he didn’t have enough strength to wear a full metal armour.

Fei was furious. “Why can’t I just live my ordinary life on earth, I don’t want to be the king anymore!”

At this moment —

“Collecting player’s information ……. 20%……. 50%……. 88%……. 100%. Game system installation initiated …… Scanning brain capacity …… requirement met …… install …….”

A mysterious, mechanical sounding voice appeared out of nowhere.

It scared Fei almost to the death

This voice appeared directly in his mind

“S--t, what is this? ghost?” He got no replies

“Install complete. Entering Diablo world in 3…2…1… enter!”

Like the characters in the TV series Stargate who travel through the stargate, Fei felt dizzy and a mysterious and strange wave went through his body.

【Rogue Encampment】

Fei stood like a zombie at 【Rogue Encampment】where the new players spawn in the game Diablo. His mind was blank.

He had been standing here for the last 5 minutes.

5 minutes ago, after the 3 second countdown in his mind by the voice; his vision blurred and he landed here.

This was a real Diablo world.

A perfect and lively world.

This was the conclusion Fei came to after the 5 minutes.

The sky was dark and the rain was pouring down. An unknown dark green bryophyte had grown all over the ground. Dark soil appeared further away. The camp was empty.

“Cluck, cluck, cluck” only a few hungry hens were seeking food in the rain.

A cold breeze blew through Fei and he shook in the cold.

The vivid sensation from every nerve in his body reminded him that this was real, this was a real world, not a stiff 2D computerized screen.

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  1. Ohhhhh a game like POV for mc…..

    Thanks for the chapter!

  2. notsane009

    He is in Diablo! Wow

  3. You Died~~

    not in dark soul?

  4. Doomr

    Stargate… My favorite tv series

    Thanks for the chapter.

  5. Congratulation, you got a new stalker 😀

    Btw, this line…
    He was BSing so fluently that he almost believed in what he was saying.
    >BS? Bullshit?

    • Hahhaa thanks bro for ur support! Loool yep its bullshitting

      • It is better to not shorten when translating. Not everyone knows abbreviations and most importantly they are harder to google. For this very reason I don’t like when authors censor brand names. It limits audiences.

  6. Soneka

    Diablo?!?! Diablo II Right? Man, i think i will love this novel so much that it will hurt >_<

  7. Well this should be even more interesting.

  8. AncientAnimeLover

    What’s a Diablo? I am confuse. Is it a real game in real life or made up? And isn’t stargaze old?!

  9. EaterOfNovels


  10. jacobpaige

    Yeah, this part makes as little sense as I thought it would. Hopefully it doesn’t last very long.

  11. Would of been funny as hell if he said How dare you Gil your thick fat face hurt my hand so now I must use my foot, then kicked the s--t out of him.

  12. Yggdrasil

    Oh s--t, really, Diablo II, I play it till today, so I’m going to love that so much !

  13. BakaHiru

    So he just slaps a guy who tried to kill him and violets his woman……. then lets him go just like that? No blood? no cutting his arm or severing his little brother? Not to mention the guy was just supposed to be his lackey and he was king………wow very ruthless MC decisive! ……..hey you forgot to the guy some cash before letting him go!

    • Are you an idiot? He just came to this new world, why the hell would he act that way all of sudden? He still a fresh, it takes time to kill his old personality and adopt to this new one.

  14. Florencie

    Bright disk? I didn’t know trucks came in that shape.

  15. Timot

    Such a shameless author.

    Im impressed, lets see how this goes.

  16. Andyman301

    Diablo? Rogue encampment? What’s next? Is he going to Tristram to save Deckard Cain?

  17. KillMEorUllDie

    wait..its not WoW?

  18. Captillon

    Was not expecting a stargate reference in a chinese novel. A pleasant surprise.

    • Lyrikuk

      They named a character Frank Lampard… that’s the manager of Chelsea, an English Football club, he’s a retired professional player himself…I guess the author is a fan.

  19. Serious otaku Gamer

    thx for the chapter

  20. Johnson Ponraj

    diablo world ?

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